문법과 표현을 더 자연스럽게 수정하면, 더 깔끔하고 매끄러운 글이 될 수 있습니다. 아래는 교정과 함께 평가입니다:
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Corrected Version:
Hello, I’d like to introduce my life and plans to the reader.
I live in Seoul, Korea, and I currently live in an apartment.
I'm a high school student, but I plan to leave school at the end of this semester.
After that, I’ll keep studying English and work a part-time job.
By improving my English and saving money, I plan to study abroad.
I've wanted to live in a foreign country for a few years now. Honestly, I worry that my country may face serious issues in the next 30-50 years.
So, I hope to study and eventually settle abroad.
Thank you for reading.
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Detailed Feedback and Corrections
1. Opening Sentence:
Original: "Hello, introduce my life and plan to reader."
Correction: "Hello, I’d like to introduce my life and plans to the reader."
Explanation: The original sentence is awkward and incomplete. Using "I'd like to" sounds more natural, and "plans" is plural since multiple plans are implied.
2. Sentence Structure and Punctuation:
Original: "I live in seoul, korea. and live in apartment."
Correction: "I live in Seoul, Korea, and I currently live in an apartment."
Explanation: The phrase “I live in Seoul, Korea” is complete, so there’s no need to split it into two sentences. “And live in apartment” sounds incomplete, so adding “I currently live in an apartment” clarifies this.
3. Tense Consistency and Capitalization:
Original: "I'm a high school student, but i"ll quit the school through the semester."
Correction: "I'm a high school student, but I plan to leave school at the end of this semester."
Explanation: "I'll quit" is too informal, and “through the semester” is confusing. "I plan to leave school" is clearer, and "at the end of this semester" makes the timing more specific. Also, remember to capitalize “I” in English.
4. Sentence Clarity:
Original: "Then, i'll keep studying English and do part time job."
Correction: "After that, I’ll keep studying English and work a part-time job."
Explanation: “Do part time job” is not correct. The natural way to say this is “work a part-time job.” "After that" sounds smoother than "Then."
5. Reasoning and Purpose:
Original: "Through the studying English and earning money, i'll plan to study abroad."
Correction: "By improving my English and saving money, I plan to study abroad."
Explanation: "Through the studying English" is awkward. Instead, "By improving my English" is clearer. Also, “I plan to” is enough without "I’ll," and “saving money” fits better than “earning money.”
6. Clarifying Motivation and Grammar:
Original: "Because i want to live in foreign country few years ago, also honestly, i think my country will collapse by complicated problems in 30-50 years."
Correction: "I've wanted to live in a foreign country for a few years now. Honestly, I worry that my country may face serious issues in the next 30-50 years."
Explanation: The phrase “Because I want to live” and “few years ago” are mixed up and unclear. "I've wanted to" captures the ongoing desire, and “I worry that my country may face serious issues” is more precise than "collapse by complicated problems."
7. Closing and Purpose of Writing:
Original: "so i want to study abroad and stay abroad. that's why i typing this text."
Correction: "So, I hope to study and eventually settle abroad. That’s why I’m typing this message."
Explanation: The original sentence is informal and awkward. "Hope to study and settle abroad" expresses your intention more clearly. Also, "That’s why I’m typing this message" is smoother than “that’s why I typing this text.”
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Final Tips
1. Consistency in Tense: Ensure all verbs are in the same tense where appropriate. Switching tenses can confuse the reader.
2. Formality and Tone: In academic or formal writing, avoid overly casual phrases (e.g., "typing this text").
3. Capitalization: Always capitalize “I” and proper nouns like “Seoul” or “Korea.”
4. Natural Phrasing: Try using expressions that sound natural, especially when explaining motivation or reasoning.
Overall, with these adjustments, the writing sounds more professional and easier to understand. Keep practicing, and feel free to ask for more corrections!
댓글 영역
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작성한 게시물을 NFT로 발행하면 일주일 동안 사용할 수 있습니다. (최초 1회)
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